I have wanted to write about my sex life in my blog for such a long time. But I have always been hesitant since it’s not quite kosher. Ya know, I have a reputation to uphold here. And unfortunately, getting laid by various people supposedly has an impact on my professional skills and puts my morality in question. Obviously, I know that’s bullshit. But do you?
Anyway, I had a recent experience (cough*last night*cough) that is just too humorous (sad?) to not share.
I met this man on Tinder (how else do I meet them?) and we had been chatting for a week and a half or so. Legit chatting, think daily texts and a handful of phone calls. Real life phone calls. I didn’t even know my phone was capable of making calls to anyone but my mother! Anyway, we finally decided to bite the bullet and meet up (please be a recent photo). So I went to his place. Yes, I know. Shame on me. But I did text him first asking if he was planning on murdering me. He said no so I figured I was safe, right?
We chatted while he made me dinner. Homemade flatbread pizza and a fresh salad. For the record, it was pretty good. Fast forward to post supper because we both know you don’t care what we chatted about. We take it to the bedroom for a bit of an old school make out session. I tell myself, it’s okay you can just make out and stop (at least I think you can?) We get a bit toasty and some clothes come off. It continues to get heated. He is touching me all over with his lips, his hands, and I throw the whole not being a slut new year resolution out the window. It just feels too good and I don’t want to stop. I’m totally down (tf) for whatever. We continue. At some point with his cock in my hand, he asks me if this is a good idea. I say of course not. (I might make poor decisions but I’m always fully aware that I’m making them) We go at it a bit more when he jumps out of bed. Here I thought he was pulling something out of his sock drawer so we could have a bit more fun. But no, he decides to just take things into his own hands. Literally. And he finishes right there standing in the middle of his hardwood floor. There is a completely naked girl on your bed and you decide to make a puddle on the floor? After the astonished look on my face wore off, I cracked up laughing. My tits, however, are still insulted.